I stopped searching for the Needy

One day when I was young, I went through an experience, which made me start to see things a bit differently. One day our relatives came to our home visiting. It was 7:00PM and as usual the power was cut. There was not enough time to make and serve in the 15 minutes he was staying. So my mother asked me to buy some snacks form the nearest sweet shop. The shop was just a mile away.

I went on my sunny (motor bike). While the sweets were being packed, I wanted to buy some snacks for me and my cousin and so, I went to the nearest snack stall.

Right then I saw an old homeless man ‘begging the stall owner for some snacks. He was starving’. The stall owner seeing me approaching the stall for purchasing didn’t want to loose his customers. So he threatened the homeless guy to leave or to beat him up. The old homeless guy determined to get some food came to me begging. I asked the stall owner for $10 snacks. While he was packing, I asked him if he sold snacks  worth $2. The stall owner said of course and packed the $2 first.

I took the packet and turned to the homeless man and offered it to him. The man was speechless and took it with great thankfulness. I did not expect this much of emotions from him. I knew I was helping him or giving him food. But I did not expect this much for $2.

I couldn’t get the old homeless man out of my mind. So, the next day with a good intention of feeding the old man, I went to the stall and asked for him. I waited and waited for more than an hour. It was already 7:30Pm and it was not a good thing for teenage girls to roam around in the dark even on sunnys. So, I instructed the stall owner to give the old man some snacks and paid him $2.

I went home and was restless. After a while I told my family about what had happened a day before and how I wanted to help the old guy again. My mom who had just come from the kitchen to call everyone to dinner heard this and said to me that I was a very selfish person. I was hurt. I was confused too. I kept quite through the dinner.

After the dinner and the dishes, I asked my mom about why she called me selfish. To that my mom replied  - "You are not wrong in wanting to help a man. You are wrong in hoping a man to starve, so that you could help him".

And she was right. It was selfish of me to want a old homeless person starve, so that I could have the opportunity to help him out. I learned to not go looking for needy people. I still do what I can, but don't assume that they cannot (or should not) live without my help.