Love…..
I have been falling in love all my life. I have been using
the word soulmate too on and off all through my life. Then I got pregnant. I
never wanted kids, but there was no reason to not want the baby. I did not go
through morning sickness at all. Plus I was super hyper all through the
pregnancy. Then I had a 10 lbs baby. 12 hours prior to going under the knife (I
am 5.2 and he was 10 lbs) for the C-section I was planning on going back to
work in 6 weeks after handing the baby to a nanny.
Once he came out of me. I fell for him. I fell head over
heels for him. He looked at me and smiled. When they took him away to weigh him
he cried and I cried. I got him back. I started to nurse him 20 mins after he
was born. I was disoriented but did not want to let go of him. They let me keep
him with me all the time and I did. I hugged him and kissed him and he gave me
tons and tons of smiles.
A few weeks later I just put him down and I went into the
kitchen to fix a meal. He cried loudly. I went running to him. He gave me the
biggest smile. The joy in his eyes and his smile showed me all the love he has
for me. I felt love for the first time in my life.
I tried and tried to please all the men and women in my life
– dad, mom, sister, brother, friends, cousins, grand-parents, husband,
boyfriends and the list could go on. It is never enough for them. No matter how
much.
This little creature that just came into the world accepted
me, all of me and gave me all the love he had. I experienced love for the first
time in my life. He just wanted to see me. Wanted to be held.
He stood with me, by me through thick and thin. He gave me
courage, so much courage and made me what I am today. He loved me for the
rewards and forgave me for my mistakes. He loved me unconditionally. When I
think about it, I don’t think I could have given him half the love he gave me.
He is my soulmate. Sure, I am not married to him. Why does a
soulmate have to be all about marriage. My baby is my soulmate.
