Sunday, August 23, 2015

What is 50 Shades of Grey about?

It is not about a billionaire. It is not about being a virgin or innocence. It is not about BDSM at all. It has nothing to do with sex. Absolutely, especially not about sex.

It is about passive aggressive relationships. Most men are passive aggressive. (Angries Out)  Some women are passive aggressive to the core too. But typically men are the ones who have a hard time expressing their feelings. They are afraid of getting hurt, rejected, humiliated, and more. So, they decide to not share their feelings. They expect their wife or the partner to read their mind. And most of them do a good job of choosing the rescuer as a partner. So, the cycle starts. The man starts a silent treatment, and the woman looks inside and thinks and over thinks and goes crazy trying to figure out what went wrong. She tries to get an answer, some answer. And when she finally does, it does not make any sense. Because the whole thing looks like she went in with full knowledge and got flogged so it is not the man’s fault!! She asked for it.

He cannot connect with other people lovingly so he chooses to connect with BDSM in which he is the one flogging. He needs to punish someone. And that someone has to be submissive and happy with the pain. If they really loved him, they would tolerate the pain and still love him.
He cannot make love. He can have emotionless, connectionless sex only!!
He has to protect himself with a contract. Once the women signs the contract, he will really show his colors. Till then it seems like the ball is in her court. She can make him strike off all the things she does not like thinking she in charge and protecting herself and making him do what she wants only. But at some point she feels sorry for striking off his favorite things and she will agree to it too.


He is nice to her. Makes sure she is taken care of. Makes sure she is in his circle and under his command. Then he punishes her and insults her and humiliates her. But he still comes out to protect her and take care of her.
He insists he can only do so much because of something that might have happened a million years ago. But he knows exactly what he wants and needs and cant give. How else does he know what to deny her? How does he furnish his crib with all the goodies?


She feels pain. She feels lonely. She is there for his needs, but what is she in this relationship? She does not understand. She does not understand how much more of this uncertainty she can take. She wants to feel him. She wants to feel connection. She fights for it and begs to do something.
This is a confusing time for both of them, they both do not know what exactly they want. He wants her to be in a corner while he goes on with his life and occasionally acknowledges her. She know he is a great guy but she feels so empty and blank, she wants to just understand what he wants.
Then finally, he lets his guard down and tells her or shows her what he really wants. She then realizes how messed up he really is, how messed up this situation really is and walks away.

The author of this book mentions that this product was a result of midlife crisis. And it is a product of midlife crisis. (A realization of what she wanted and what she could have done to deal with a passive aggressive relationship.)
Many women out there are in relationships or married to incredible men. But these men are passive aggressive. They are good in person and on paper. But they can never give the women the connection they want or the love they deserve.

The Girl in this book (Anastasia) walks away from a successful, handsome, protective, talented guy after she realizes  how messed up he is.
This is what most women fantasize about. Not the sex or money!!
Walking away from emptiness is the ultimate fantasy!!
Having the guts to reject the comforts and glamorous life is the fantasy.
Saying NO to the chains is the fantasy.
Not being tied down for the sake of love or commitment or society is the fantasy.
Having clarity is the fantasy.
Not living in denial is the fantasy.
Breaking free from a life of reading the partners minds because they just won't talk to them
Not trying to make sense of their actions.
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Hey, I did not read the book. I did not watch the movie either. I only watched videos like - Everything Wrong With Fifty Shades Of Grey, Honest Trailers - Fifty Shades of Grey, 50 Shades of Grey - Movie Review AND Read these and laughed my tail off - Dumbest most disturbing moments 50 shades Grey, Call fifty shades stupid article




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